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Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation and resilience is a game changer. This is the promise that Somatic Experiencing and EFT Meridian Tapping holds.

It means peace, peace of mind, heart and body. It means you can show up as an adult in challenging situations. It means you can pursue your dreams without tripping over doubt and fear. It means you can be present in intimate relationships in a deeper way.

It’s an Inside Job

Many of us are well trained by parents, school and society in how to be in the outside world, but what about our inside world?

My StoryTame Your Triggers. Emotional Regulation.

It was a mystery….

How could I be so calm on my meditation cushion and then… a few minutes later… blow up in the kitchen over something small?

How did I revert to an eight year old so suddenly? What was the disconnect?

Curious and frustrated, and not wanting to be so out of control… not to mention the internal suffering … I was lead to Somatic Experiencing (SE) trauma healing and to work on my own trauma.

It was a revelation to learn there about the nervous system and how our past experiences get stored in our body. This had been the missing key for me.

Meditation was not enough. I needed other tools. 

On the heals of my SE training, I was re-introduced to EFT- Meridian Tapping. When I had first run into it eight years earlier, I thought Tapping was corny. I didn’t know there was science behind it and I dismissed it.Tame Your Triggers - Self Compassion

But now I understand how it works and why. I also recognize that Tapping is an easy way for many people to access the depth that Somatic Experiencing gave me.

Now, I love blending SE and tapping for a full embrace of the nervous system and the heart-soul.

 

How These Tools Work

Triggers are held in the body, in the nervous system. Tapping calms down the amygdala (fight-flight-freeze) system and helps to safely relieve the stored traumatic energy, the source of the trigger.

And, by the way, this is not about getting rid of anything. It is about integration.

In this work we stop resisting and pushing away our pain, fear, anxiety, worry. In acceptance is transformation. In acceptance we face what is actually happening, turning toward it and embracing it. Then it can stop chasing us and we can tend to what is needed.

This is where the tools are essential and are so effective. Self-compassion for our suffering. Mindfulness for becoming aware of the signs of activation and being present with our upset. Tapping for easing the upset and then perhaps going deeper to the roots of the trigger.

What This Means for You

Trauma (big or little) happens when we were overwhelmed in some way and we did not get the support, or the conditions were not right, for us to fully integrate the experience. The energy of that experience, part of our life force, then gets stuck in the nervous system. These become subconscious triggers later on.

When we show up for ourselves, by tending to our upset in a new way, we are giving our nervous system something it didn’t get originally. This way it can relax and unwind itself.

These triggers or vortexes, some big, some little, are like eddies in our nervous system. When they are resolved, that energy is reintegrated back into our life stream. This means more of you is available for you to be yourself

For me, it meant I could be more of an adult in all areas of my life. What a relief this has been for me. I could speak more clearly in a business meeting. “Grumpy for no reason” left my emotional background field. I could stay more calm when others were upset. It has been especially profound in how I am in my closest relationships.

Emotional Regulation for You

In private sessions I combine the tools of Somatic Experiencing and EFT-meridian tapping with Self Compassion to rewire the brain and nervous system in a loving, kind and integrated way.

Change your nervous system, change your life.

 

“If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart,
it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person.

It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart…”
~ Pema Chodron

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Lauren Darges

Lauren Darges, RScP, SEP

Spiritual Counselor
Relationship Coach
Meditation Teacher

Sessions in person, by phone or Skype. Call for a free 20 minute consultation.

T: 707.971.0340
E: Lauren.darges@gmail.com

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